Falling in Love After Abuse
It is terrifying. To trust, to hope and to love. It is hard to process the differences in a love when all you have known before was abuse and awfulness. I had resigned myself to the fact that perhaps I would be alone and I would be okay with that. I have built myself up strong and have healed a lot. I have looked inwards to a greater depth than ever before and I can say with an unshakeable voice that I now love myself, even the parts that aren’t perfect. I have put my focus into my children, my work and my studies. To build a world I can be happy in and proud of, and I am happy. For the first time in many many years I can say that. The amount of work, the days spent sobbing and broken, the moments where I just had to keep my eyes fixed on that tiny flicker of light that felt it was going to be extinguished by a whisper of wind at any moment. I fell to my knees and I surrendered, all of my pain, all of my sorrow, all of my shame. Then I began to rise again. When I was in the depths of abuse and the aftermath of it I dreamed of a day where I would feel like I do at this point but I had only faith that I would get there, it did feel like an impossibility.
Then someone came into my life. Someone who is so new to me and so familiar at the same time. Someone who is incredibly genuine, sweet and caring. My body lost it. I didn’t see him coming and I didn’t expect the way my body would respond. My…
