Stop Telling Women They’re Too Busy to Date

Lynda Claire
5 min readApr 8, 2022
Photo by Taryn Elliott from Pexels

This has been an interesting thing for me since taking a peek at the dating world and deciding if it’s a place I want to be in right now or in the future. So far it seems like a rather bleak world where people don’t seem to be looking for love or commitment and yet still expect you to meet wife criteria for a one night stand. Three men I spoke to recently all told me I was too busy to date. Being a woman, I then messaged my best friend and asked her why on earth they would say this only to find out it had been said to her too, and not only to her but to many other women. Somehow it’s okay for a man to tell you he works sixty hour weeks and then has a bunch of other commitments but then as a woman when I say I do sixty hour weeks and have all these other things I like to do, then I’m too busy to date.

What is it that men are expecting exactly? A woman who can fit into their schedule, that’s there for them when they want them at a moments notice? Do they want someone who doesn’t have their own life or their own hobbies? How much attention is a prospective partner expecting to get? From my perspective if a man tells me his life is full and busy I think great! That means you can happily occupy yourself while I’m off doing my own thing, you’ll be more interesting because you’ll have more to talk about and you won’t rely on me to be your sole source of entertainment and company as the men before you have done. It tells me you have goals and you’re working hard towards those, or you are committed to providing for your own life. Both of which are good things. Yet, here women sit being told they’re too busy because they dare to have a full life that doesn’t revolve around a partner.

Is it intimidating for a woman to be so content in her own company and to have a lot of interests she spends time on? Or does it come back to some antiquated reality of wanting a woman to be there when you get home from work with dinner on the table? The thing about women is, if it’s important to us we’ll make time for it. So if you’re important to us, we’ll make time for you. It doesn’t mean we’re going to give up the life we’re happy in currently but we’ll invite you to become a part of that. I don’t ever see myself being less busy than I am now. I’m a student of life, there is so much I want to do, learn, see and explore. I have huge plans and dreams…

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Lynda Claire

Seeking those moments of magic and trying to capture them with words. Exploring my depths. Living on an island at the bottom of the world.